Our Poly Story

The kitchen is bustling with activity. My boyfriend, Liam, is preparing roast potatoes with chickpeas, my favourite dish of his. He’s trying to stay out of the way of Ethan who is fussing over his pork tenderloin in the cast iron pan, trying to get it just right before sticking it in the oven. There won’t be enough room for both of them, so he’s trying to time it with Liam so everything comes out just right. Aiden is off to the side preparing caesar salad. The ripe smell of parmesan distracts me from my cleaning. I lean over his shoulder to have a better look, and gently give him a peck on the cheek. My nose leads me to the garlic pasta where Oliver is putting on his finishing touch. I move over to give him a buttsqueeze as thanks. I hear the front door open and in walks my husband. He comes in with a smile and a big tray of honey garlic chicken. Behind him is his girlfriend carrying an even bigger tray of tiropita. This is going to be a good night. It’s the night of the big poly potluck.

Just a regular ol’ normal post

For most of my life I’ve wanted to be normal. I just wanted to fade into the background, to be the epitome of average. If no one noticed me, no one could hurt me. By shunning anything unique, I could avoid judgement from others. No one judges person #501 standing in the crowd of thousands.

The kink community has helped to show me that there is no normal. For the most part, people are just throwing up a facade of normalcy.  Everyone likes to feel like they belong. By being average and normal, I thought I got to choose from a large pool of people who would accept me. The kink community helped me break out of my shell and express myself.  By being accepting of just about everything imaginable (except non-consent…and the related wankers), the community is full of non-judgmental people. Unless of course your thing is wanting someone to judge and evaluate you in front of a room full of people. Then I’m sure you would have no problem finding that. Makes for a fun party game!

Four reasons why my IUS is amazing

I love my IUS. We’re best friends. It’s the voice of reason to my uterus. “No, you don’t want to be pregnant. That’s a silly idea. Why would you do that?”  It just sits there, quietly doing it’s job while I do my thing. I never have to think about it, or remember it, but when I do I’m thankful for it. If I could, I would give it a little pat on the head for the good job it’s doing. But that would be awkward, as I’m not into cervical fisting.

The IUS (intrauterine system) is an amazing little T-shaped piece of plastic that slowly releases hormones directly into the uterus. A doctor inserts the IUS through the cervix in an in-office procedure. While that sounds like it would be incredibly painful, it’s really not any worse than bad cramps. OK, still not selling you on it. Trust me, the initial pain is worth it for the benefits.

Boobs as a Weapon

You probably think this post is about how to use your natural feminine wiles to seduce and manipulate men. Fuck. That. This is about how to pummel your opponent into submission using nothing but a pair of soft and squishy fun bags on the front of your chest. Too often boobs just sit there looking pretty, not hurting anyone. This is a problem.

Wait…porn *isn’t* realistic?

The dashing hero picks up his partner and throws her on the bed. She strikes a seductive pose, gently tugging on her lip with a curved finger. He pounces towards her, ready to ravage her body. He fails to notice her knee sticking up. It connects perfectly with his gut.

Silly Sadism

Before I joined the kink community I told my husband that I didn’t think it would be possible for me to spank someone without laughing. It just seemed so silly, and my natural reaction to that is to laugh. It turns out I don’t need to stop myself from laughing. It is more than possible to have a scene that involves a healthy amount of sadism, all the while giggling at the absurdity of it all.